It’s been a constant presence throughout my life, and at this point, I’ve grown weary of it. Yes, it is as natural as life, and like all things, everything runs in cycles. If there is a beginning, there has to be an end.
I can accept that.
It’s the pain of being left behind to try to deal with the absence of a loved one. The pain of trying to pick up the pieces and restart a life when you have no desire to. The reluctance to look forward to holidays and trips without him or her of which he or she was a central figure of.
They say time is a healer of many things.
But not of everything.
How can you heal a heart that has been broken time and time again?
All I can do is…take one day at a time, and remember to breathe. The pain does subside, but never completely goes away.
I’ve recently read a quote that spoke to my soul:
“The experience of losing a loved one impels us toward a deeper understanding of life. Everyone fears and is saddened by death. That is natural. But by struggling to overcome the pain and sadness that accompanies death, we become sharply aware of the dignity and preciousness of life and develop the compassion to share the sufferings of others as our own.”–Daisaku Ikeda
This is one of the reasons why I’ve decided to go back to journaling, and to take that leap and share that journal with others. My life has been full of sufferings and struggles of various kinds, but instead of allowing these to make me bitter and resentful, I’d rather open myself and my life to others who have been through similar experiences, and together slowly mend our pains and wounds.