“A good friend is a connection to life- a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.” -Lois Wyse

Have you notice that over time everything is becoming more and more chaotic and hectic?   You begin to wonder why there are so many people depressed or anxious…families drifting apart…technology absorbing more areas of our lives…material things and social status occupying more of our attention/focus…

I know for me, the less I’m able to interact with others, to connect, the less happy and more depressed I become.

Why is that?

How is it possible to live on an overcrowded planet that has so many options of communicating with other people and yet one can still feel so isolated and alone?

“The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen.  Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention…a loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words.” -Rachel Naomi Remen
Is communicating the same as listening?  Or, is a lot of it a bunch of noises?
I tend to think the latter.  It seems to me that there are multitude of voices all chattering at once just trying to be heard ; words which really have no value or reason behind them because they tend to benefit the speakers more than anyone else.
In the end, these words are nothing more than noise.
If people truly want to connect with others, all they need to do is give others their undivided attention.  In other words, just shut up and listen!
In this modern age where we’re saturated with social media of all forms, we somehow lost the art of listening.  And in that loss we forgot what it feels like to truly connect with others.  Hence, in all that noise we find ourselves feeling quite alone.


Please Listen

When I ask you to listen to me

and you start giving me advice,
  you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something
to solve my problem,
you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

All I ask is that you listen.
Don’t talk or do – just hear me.
Advice is cheap – 20 cents will get you both
Dear Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper.
And I can do for myself; I am not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can
and need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear and inadequacy.
But when you accept as a simple fact
that I feel what I feel, no matter how irrational,
then I can stop trying to convince you
and get about this business of understanding
what’s behind this irrational feeling.
And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious
and I don’t need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense
when we understand what’s behind them.

Perhaps that’s why prayer works – sometimes –
for some people, because God is mute.
and he doesn’t give advice or try to fix things.
God just listens and lets you work it out for yourself.

So please listen, and just hear me.
And if you want to talk,
wait a minute for your turn,
and I will listen to you.

Author Unknown









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