Panic Attack

There are some days my waning vision scares the heck out of me.  I keep all the check books as well as pay the bills for the family.  Yesterday I needed a check for something and went to look for the checkbook in the usual place (purse), but it wasn’t there.  I tried to think back to what I’ve done and where I’ve been since the last time I used it, and narrowed it down to two places where my purse had been (work and home).  I backtracked between both places, but could not find the  checkbook anywhere.

How do I explain this to my husband?  That I somehow lost the checkbook?  He would give me that “how can you be so irresponsible” look which would make me feel, well, pretty low…inferior.  Like a complete idiot.

The fact that I’ve been “misplacing” things more and more lately has start to scare me.  These things, mostly, have been little “unimportant” stuff…but a checkbook?  This could be a huge “uh-oh” for me.

I didn’t sleep very well last night because of this.  I kept wondering and fretting how I was going to break this to Jay.

Jay’s gone for the day.  The sun is out, and the house is bright.  So, I took one more stab at searching around the house.

Would you believe that I actually found the checkbook…it was in the purse all along!

How pathetic is that?  All that stress and anxiety for nothing.  🙂

 

 

 

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One thought on “Panic Attack

  1. I’m so sorry about this. I wouldn’t minimize it; it wasn’t “nothing.” Worry is such a drain and you have huge concerns looming over you. I do understand about how your husband affects you from my own experience, because I really don’t know much about your relationship. Over time, my fretting about his responses caused my heart to grow cold; I became resentful. If I could have done anything differently (since I’m now divorced), it would have been to express myself and share my feelings, rather than suppress them. I’m glad you can write for your blog but my heart aches for you. You have very legitimate feelings and concerns.

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